if i can run in heels then i can drive
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
