Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
