Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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