So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
