the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
