My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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