there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
