my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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