You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
