She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
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Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
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yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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