You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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