I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
