he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
