A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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