do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
ttyl tear gas
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
