I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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