I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
