Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
