at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
