rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
In America we eat man semen.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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