but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
