On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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