Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Randomize
