just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
