rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
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My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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