I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
