new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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