i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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