I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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