at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
