she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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