what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
