Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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