That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
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