I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
ugly people sure do ruin things
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
