I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
