Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
