i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
