3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Dick very happy bro
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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