I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
