For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
