Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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