i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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