This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
