then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
