And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
