He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She told me I should be a condom model.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
