Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
