No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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