trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
