Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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