It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
