i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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