Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
